Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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