All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
