I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
