The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
