you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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