i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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