She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize