ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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