Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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