Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Please don't give away my fajitas
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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