He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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