I'm really into asian looking animals
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
