I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
