just come out here and I will go home with you...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just invented taco cereal.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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