Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
