some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
