You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
fuck your aforementioned shoe
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
