READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
