Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
