grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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