it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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