So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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