So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
