Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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