Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
