He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
