you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
