before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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