Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
organizing the empties. That sober.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Alive.
So much puke
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize