Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
