Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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