I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
