you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
