They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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