so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
