you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
