Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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