Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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