Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
