i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
