Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
