Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
