Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we should paint friendship bongs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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