It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
