we're blogging at a bar
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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