"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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