THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
