Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
