Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
