she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
