question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
