We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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