DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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