Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
