MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize