My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just gargled with NyQuil
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize