There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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