It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
