Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
