I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
