Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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