no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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