Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
