Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
